Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Fortune Cookie Wisdom

I went for Chinese food tonight. I'm sure we all agree that the best thing about Chinese food is fortune cookies.....right? Where else can you have a meal, which could potentially be unidentifiable (although I'm a big fan of the chicken and broccoli since, really, there's chicken.....and there's broccoli), and then end the evening with deep gems of Confucius like wisdom? So much to take home besides the doggy bag. So much more. :o)

Here's mine today. Ready? "You may be invited to a party where strange customs will prevail."

This is intriguing to me on so many levels...

I start with the idea of being invited to a party with strange customs. First I fear the phone call that someone I know is, yet again, selling dry dip mix, knock off purses, kitchen tools or sex toys and I MUST come over, check book in hand. Thi
s is a strange custom that many of my female friends have adopted. Invite people over for a nosh, a multi-level-marketing rah rah and an opportunity to spend over a hundred dollars on nothing. I am so disinterested in this. Unless, of course, someone decides to multi-task and demonstrate how one could use dry dip mix, a faux purse, a kitchen tool and a sex toy all at the same time. Oh come on, you know that could be entertaining.

Next I think about that Kubrick movie with Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman... Eyes Wide Shut. Whoa. No thanks.

Maybe it will be a star studded gala although I can't imagine any strange rockstar customs I have not yet seen. Nothing surprises me on that front. Or an Irish funeral with bagpipes and whiskey and laughter in mourning. Or, ooohhhhh another of my family fu
nctions where we can move on from people's toilet choices and into, "what's in her underwear drawer?"

Really, the options are endless. But then it dawns on me. My wise cookie tells me I MAY be invited to a part
y where strange customs prevail. I MAY. Not I WILL. I'm so disappointed now. I'll keep you posted.


Anonymous said...

ok. we do have some strange customs here. hahha
invite us.

d girl

~melissa said...


looking forward to too many laughs soon. yipeeeeeeeeeee

jdbauer said...

OK I can't help, but feel like a voyeur in this post. So follow my logic here:

"dry dip mix, a faux purse, a kitchen tool and a sex toy", I believe can all be found in Marcel Duchamp's The Bride Stripped Bare by Her Bachelors.

Now let's take into consideration that you'll be traveling in Europe, namely France and Germany - 2 major locations for Dadaism. Chances are that at some point you WILL be invites to a party with strange customs. I'm seeing a meal served on a half plate, lot's of toasting, both of glasses and the kind in which bread is warmed up.

Or you might just wind up at my place to experience all the strange and surrealistic pointlessness of a Danish party. Where people talk, eat and drink for about 6 hours, saying "skaal"! and "HURRAHH"!

~melissa said...

Oh JDB.... for the record you will always be my favorite here :) I especially enjoy how you find a modicum of intellect in my moronic rants.

I welcome the opportunity to witness Skaa and Hurrah.... seeing as how they are probably the only words I would understand. Still sounds like a great time.